The Pennsylvania Moment

In case you missed it, a federal judge, the Honorable John E. Jones, ruled the Pennsylvania ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional.  I am overjoyed that PA has finally joined the ranks of the states that have marriage equality. Prior to this ruling, being the only state in the Northeast that did not recognize civil marriage for gay and lesbian couples was an embarrassing and shameful distinction.

I recently made a cross-country move from Pennsylvania to California which made it bittersweet to hear about the long-awaited moment of change in the state where I have spent practically the entirety of my adult life. Of course, I’m thrilled for those who will now be able to have their relationships recognized by their home state. (Waiting on wedding announcements as we speak.)  And I’m relieved that friends who left Pennsylvania in order to have their marriage acknowledged and protected now have the option to return home.  But I am also sad to have missed the moment that my government finally gave me something I have been pissed about for 15 years.

In the terms of the LGBT movement you would call me an ally, and as an ally, I am happy that Pennsylvania has taken this critical step to stop discrimination against the LGBT community. But beyond that, as an American and Pennsylvanian, this decision to live up to the promise of our republic’s commitment to equality under the law moves me. Despite the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling striking down the Defense of Marriage Act in June 2013, where I lived, marriage equality was not a legal reality. (Sadly, that remains true for a majority, but ever shrinking!, portion of Americans. )

Legally sanctioned discrimination galls me. But more than that, it offends my patriotism.  Equal protection under the law and separation between church and state are fundamental to our purpose as a nation. I am a proud straight Catholic American. If I get married, I want to make a promise before God in a church and register with the state to access all the benefits my commitment entitles me to. The former is a matter of choice, the latter a matter of right.